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Heartburn

by MY AIM

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1.
2.
Deadweight 02:16
I’m a life abuser, a dream destroyer, a hopeless misanthrope. I’m lost in a world that doesn’t fit me. A futile body conceals what hides deep inside of me. People think they know me, but they have no idea. I followed a lonesome road, to the core of my being. There I found myself howling in the darkest of my thoughts. Desolated and abandoned, I woke up in a different place. My whole notion of time and space, gone. I crossed over into a realm, where I could never come back from. Nothing would ever fix me. I was dead already.
3.
Why can’t people see that a world filled with pain and misery, is essential for me? I’m the most miserable being that walks this earth. I’m the bitter sweet victim of bloodshed. I wrapped myself in anger and filled myself with hate. Pursuing love with a vengeful heart was a recipe for disaster. What did I expect? I ‘m about to be consumed by the darkness of my thoughts. The vultures circle around my head while maggots feast on my flesh. I’m the king of death and disease, sitting on a throne of humiliation. Relieve me. It’s a war I can’t win. I stare at my own defeat but I’m still convinced that this is not my end. A land full of corpses, an army of death. There is no stopping me. I find relief in misery. This is the point of no return, I lost more than I ever had. Bit by bit, I’m dying on the inside. But even when I’m gone, my wave of destruction will carry on.
4.
I'm born with a devil inside. I can't help that I'm a life destroyer. No more than a poet can help the inspiration to write, I'm born with an evil one standing by my side. My consuming lust is to kill. I have an obsession with the unattainable. I have to eliminate what I cannot attain. Cold and with a simple smile I take every life that is taken for granted. I still remember the smell of my last kill. Cheap and whorish. I felt like a hunter who just killed a beast. Killing is killing whether done for duty, profit or fun. So why am I more gruesome than a soldier at the front? After all we share the same faith. People are only maggots, blind, weak, easy to manipulate. Their inability to widen their view is just a reason for me to kill. The only thing I can recommend you. Take your worst nightmare and put my face to it. I'm the threat that lurks everywhere, I’m the one you can't escape.
5.
Defiler 03:36
For years I tried to be something I couldn’t be. More than anything else I wanted to control life. I wanted to be the emperor at the arena deciding rather to live or die. Things got out of hand, a monster entered my mind and I lost it. My fantasy life got much stronger than my real one. I developed an urge to kill. The longer I let it go, the stronger it got. My hands were itchy and I was thinking. I had to kill. When suddenly a girl passed by, she noticed my nervousness and asked me what was wrong. I faltered and told her I was fine. She didn’t believe me and a moment later she witnessed her own end. I was singing to myself on my way back home. My homicidal desire built up in such a proportion that when I pulled the trigger, all the pressures, all the tensions, all the hatred, just faded away, dissipated.
6.
7.
Heartburn 03:29
She found the road to my heart and the way to tear me apart. I gave her the razor so she could cut me open. Condemned to misery, I sold my soul to the devil. I embraced this hell. Conquered by my sins and enslaved by my lusts, I met my inner devil. My constant effort to misrepresent the love I felt, licensed me to sin. I was the author of my own end. My love was just my hate turned inside out. But love doesn’t die a natural death. It dies of illness and disease. So here I walk, in my garden of death, enjoying the smell of decay. Never before, I felt this way. It was like walking with a gun in my mouth, waiting for it to blast my head open. I loved between the shadow and the soul.
8.
As I grew up I realized that I was different than the others. Although my parents were kind and loving, I had none of the joys a child should have. From my earliest years I remember me chopping little bugs’ heads off. Sick? Maybe I was. That's what has been said in the media now. I have no interest in what the public thinks. My fight is in court. While I have been struggling with myself and my acts, television made me king. King of the fallen ones. Keep in mind that the public is brainwashed. All you know about me is fantasy and self-serving theories of the state. No confession is made. They're about to chop my head off, just like I did with my bugs. That's what I call mockery. I can't help but wonder if I'll still be able to hear, the sound of my own blood gushing from my neck? It would be the best fucking pleasure to end it all.
9.
Devastator 03:31
There is so much I would like to say about the world and my beliefs. However, I feel whatever I might say is overshadowed by the suffering I have caused. I have taken what I cannot return and I regret with all my heart what I have done. If I only could turn back time, I would change the past but I cannot. I am not the keeper of time, I'm only a small part of history and the legacy of man's fall from grace. What I have done separates me from mankind. There is no way back for me. Out of this hell. I feel guilty. But... I saw her at peace, wishing she could stay like that forever. I had to ease her burden. I wish I could stop but I could not. I had no other thrill than that of being a murderer.

credits

released May 12, 2014

MY AIM, The Sound Lair, The Front Agency, Toxic Merch

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MY AIM Kortrijk, Belgium

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